take my hand (through the flames)
by kinselllas
Summary: "Sing," she says softly, her eyes traveling from the strings up to his eyes, and back down. Bellamy shakes his head. He likes listening to her play. Bellamy x Raven Musicians AU


**A/N:** _I had to write this story! This is only the first chapter! I have a feeling it is going to be long! I am sorry! Someday I will update all of my other fics! Believe me when I say I didn't ask for this! Raven, Finn, Miller and Monty are a group inspired by the Fugees! Octavia and Lincoln have a She and Him vibe! Bellamy THINKS all he can do is write music (little does he know)! So much will be explained in the second chapter._

 _Send help xo Gia_

The sound of rushing traffic whirs past the window and Raven sits on the edge of a white bed. The lighting is dim, one lamp on the nightstand. Inhale, exhale. Raven is alone.

The radio is buzzing in the distance and she hears a familiar name, glances over her shoulder at the small black box.

… _And the world premiere of new music from Octavia Blake. Leaked awhile back, before production ended, and here's the final song. This is, "Aurora."_

Lincoln's piano ballad fills the room and Raven closes her eyes, she buries her face in her hands.

For the first time in months, Raven lets herself cry.

xx

 _The first time they meet, she had just turned nineteen. Bellamy watches her from off stage, a careful distance. Her hair is almost black, intricate braids leading into a long ponytail. Her eyes are big and brown, and she reminds him a little bit of his sister- defiant, beautiful. Devoted._

 _When she sings, her eyes are almost always closed. When they're open, they're on Finn._

 _Finn's eyes are always on his fingers, strumming carefully, or searching the crowd in front of him. Bellamy isn't sure who he's looking for- but that comes later._

 _Raven has a presence that can't be recreated, although many try. Some younger and some older, they try to strip themselves down and sound "real." But Raven is just real. She never has to try._

 _Nathan Miller writes her music, but Bellamy can only hear Raven in the lyrics._

 _When their set ends, Finn throws his arm around Raven's shoulders and pulls her off the stage. He plants a soft kiss against her temple and she's beaming so brightly she nearly knocks into Bellamy, who's stationery behind the sound equipment._

" _Sorry," she grins, "You up next?"_

 _Bellamy clears his throat. Nerves. "My sister. Octavia."_

 _Finn nods in response and offers him, "Cool." Then they make their way backstage._

 _Bellamy doesn't see her again until Octavia's first tour._

xx

Bellamy stands in his spot off stage and watches Octavia end her set- a series of thank yous and dedications. Lincoln rises from the piano bench and takes a graceful bow, then throws Octavia over his shoulder and carries her off the stage. The crowd screams. Bellamy just smiles.

It's a special night in Chicago. Not only is it Octavia's 50th show and the end of her tour, but it's also her 21st birthday. Sometimes Bellamy feels like it was yesterday that he and Octavia were sitting in their basement rehearsing songs. He's a wordsmith of sorts, but his talents stop there. Octavia was gifted their mother's voice, soft and soulful. Bellamy wasn't all that surprised when Lexa Woods asked Octavia to open on tour with her. It all took off from there. Two albums and a few singles later, Octavia was wrapping up her second U.S. tour.

Her most well-known song was one called " _The Bird"_ and Bellamy would never admit exactly what or who it was about. He's sure Octavia knows, but she's never disclosed the muse in interviews. Bellamy loves her for that. Some things are better left unknown.

They stroll into the Four Seasons to celebrate, and Bellamy is hit with a wave of nausea. Too many memories were created here. A first kiss, a first fight, series of all-nighters when Bellamy thought he'd never fall in love again- _and he never has_ \- a last fight, a last fuck.

At least he can still see her in magazines.

"Bell!" Octavia's voice breaks through and he finds his spot at the bar. "Stop being such a dad and come drink with us!"

Truth be told, he'd found himself trying to fill the father role with Octavia as fame took over, but she never seemed to need it. All she ever wanted was her brother. Bellamy can be that too. He orders a whiskey ginger, and uses it to chase Octavia's tequila shots.

xx

 _The second time they meet, it's at Lexa Woods' New Year's Eve party in Manhattan. Bellamy feels a little bit like he doesn't belong. Everything he does is behind the scenes. He has no real claim to fame, other than writing the words that Octavia sings into a microphone. While the lyrics are memorable, Bellamy's name is not._

 _Octavia has a show on the 3rd and then they're off to Boston._

 _Suddenly the voices around the room start to hush and Bellamy glances over his shoulder to find Raven standing in the doorway. She's wearing a long sleeve, tight black dress and her hair falls in waves over her shoulders. Miller and Monty are standing behind her, but it's clear all the eyes are on Raven. No sign of Finn. Bellamy had heard he went solo, after his break-up with Raven. Or maybe his solo career was the cause of their break-up. There were other rumors Finn was involved with a med student he met while Raven was recording for their second album. The media will sell any story._

 _She grabs a flight of champagne and takes a small sip. Bellamy smiles at her tiny grimace. He hates the taste of champagne too. Octavia is parading around with Lincoln somewhere and Bellamy doesn't know anyone so he grabs a bottle of whiskey from the bar and heads out to the balcony._

 _A few guys are smoking outside and Bellamy pulls his jacket closer against his body. The crisp winter wind whistles past him and soon he's the only one left outside. The whiskey warms him a little._

" _Thought I'd be the only one out here," Raven says, and Bellamy can't help but smile._

 _She has a small joint between her fingers and slides a hand into his pant pocket to pull out a lighter. Bellamy feels a rush of anxiety at the contact. She's the kind of beautiful that makes it hard to form thoughts._

 _Raven lights her joint and inhales deeply, it's hard to tell what is smoke and what's her own breath. She passes the joint to Bellamy and he hasn't smoked since high school, but he takes it anyway, and feels much warmer after a big hit._

" _You're Octavia's brother, right?" She asks, and Bellamy just nods. Hard to form thoughts. "Do you write?"_

 _He nods again, finds himself taking a small step closer to her._

 _Raven's eyes are red, glassy, almost daring as she asks, "Would you write for me?"_

 _Bellamy's writing has always been a very personal thing, something between him and Octavia only. Somehow it doesn't matter that every day those words are broadcasted to millions of people, they're still between him and his sister._

 _That's why he says, "No."_

 _Raven nods then, a small smile forming at her lips and she says, "Okay."_

 _They get pretty drunk after that._

 _They're sitting on the floor of a guest room passing the whiskey bottle back and forth, and Bellamy does his best imitation of one of Lexa's electronic Canadian pop songs and Raven is laughing until everything settles, and there's a silence between them. Raven is staring at her hands, and Bellamy is starting at her._

" _After he cheated on me, the first time," she starts, seemingly out of nowhere, "he told me he loved me. How can you do that to someone you love?"_

 _She looks up at him, and all Bellamy can say is, "I don't know."_

" _Miller says we can do better without him."_

" _Do you think you can?" He asks, voice soft._

 _Raven shrugs, "Never tried."_

" _No time like the present."_

xx

Raven picks up the hotel phone and dials a number she has dialed a million times before, pressing the receiver against her cheek as she listens to it ring.

"Hello?"

She blinks back tears at his voice, the familiarity of it. Inhale, exhale.

"Hey, it's me."

There's a frantic movement and shuffle of the phone before she hears his voice again.

"Raven? Are you okay?"

Her hand covers her mouth to muffle her silent sobs and all she wants is for him to be right there, next to her, telling her everything will be okay. But she's still alone, and _that_ song is now playing on every station she turns to and she feels very sick.

"Raven, come on," he says, quiet. "Tell me you're okay."

Inhale, exhale.

"I'm okay."

Miller lets out a deep sigh of relief and Raven finds herself calming slightly. It's comforting, just to hear his voice again. Lately, all she's felt is scared and alone, and very very small. She tried Boston for a few weeks, lasted in Brooklyn for over two months, had a short stint in Philadelphia. Nothing felt like home for long.

"Where are you?" He asks, and Raven tells him, "Chicago."

She can practically hear him nodding through the phone and it's silent for a long time before he speaks again.

"Maybe you should call Bellamy."

xx

 _Octavia has a bronchial infection, and Bellamy is racing around Chicago picking up medications, testing different soup concoctions and doing anything in his power to make her feel better. It's not about the tour, he wouldn't care if Octavia never performed again. But he can tell it bothers her, to disappoint her fans and be holed up in a hotel room wrapped in blankets._

 _He's balancing a cup of orange spiced tea, a container of coconut curry soup, and a jug of orange juice when he smacks into someone in the lobby of the Four Seasons. The hot soup spills all over the front of his shirt and he can't control the loud "Fuck," that escapes him. The juice slips from his hand and covers the marble floor. And honestly none of that even matters because Raven Reyes is standing in front of him, biting back a smile._

 _He asks her out in that moment, because it feels like she owes him one anyway._

 _Raven is in Chicago recording their new sound, sans Finn, and Bellamy would like to talk about anything other than music for at least one night, which Raven seems okay with too. She tells him that she wanted to be an aerospace engineer, study at MIT and eventually work for NASA, which sounds incredibly insane but she's so sure of herself that he believes in her dream, too._

" _What about you?" She asks, between bites of pasta, "Don't you have a dream other than Octavia Blake's album credit?"_

 _It stings, a little bit. But it's real. And Bellamy realizes he's never really thought about it. Writing came easily, and he was more than happy to support Octavia while she pursued her dream. His lyrics tapped into something with people, and that's a quality they grew to love about Octavia. She sang about things people didn't realize they were feeling or could feel. Bellamy liked that he could give that to someone._

 _But she also has Lincoln, and they will probably get married and Octavia will have her own life, without him. And what will Bellamy have?_

" _Nobody's ever asked me that," he says. Because it's the truth._

" _You're a good writer," Raven's fingers drum on the top of his hand gently, "But that's not all you are."_

 _They walk back to the hotel together and Bellamy can't stop himself from reaching out to graze her side, his hand slipping around her waist easily and Raven leans into his side. He'd felt it the moment he saw her on stage for the first time- that rush of excitement, and warmth. He feels it again as they walk through the lobby and she presses the button for the elevator. He and O were staying on the 8th floor, Raven was on the 11th._

 _As soon as the door shuts, Bellamy's mouth is on hers and he's pressing her against the wall, listening to the ding of each floor in the background. He slides a hand into her hair and the other rests on her hip to pull her closer. Raven moans into his mouth and Bellamy's hand moves to graze her collarbone, thumb pressing on her throat. He can feel her swallow. The air is warm and he almost misses the ding that signifies their arrival on his floor. The door slides open and Bellamy pulls away, smiling at Raven's bruised red mouth, a few strands of hair have fallen in front of her face. He's never seen her look more beautiful. That's why it kills him to kiss her one more time before stepping out of the elevator._

" _Until next time, Reyes."_

xx

Bellamy is on his third drink when he feels his phone vibrating in his pocket. He glances at the screen flashing _Unknown Caller_ and excuses himself outside to answer. Octavia's festivities had gotten a little rowdy anyway. He steps out the double doors and looks up at the stars, sprinkling rain from the sky down to where he stands on the sidewalk. He swipes the screen and holds the phone up to his ear.

"Hello?"

Silence sits on the other line, he checks to make sure the call is still connected- it is. But he hears nothing.

Again, he says, "Hello?"

Still, nothing.

Bellamy takes a deep breath and sits down on the sidewalk, back against the cool brick of the Four Seasons.

"Raven?" He asks, voice cracking. "Raven, if it's you…"

Bellamy feels that rush of excitement again, but it's not the same. There's no warmth, just the cool fall breeze blowing past him, and autumn rain spattering the cement around him. It had been months since he had seen her, even longer since he had heard her voice.

"You just left," he starts, "I woke up and you were just gone, if I had known… if I would've known that would be the last time, I would have-"

He's probably too drunk to be having this conversation, and it's probably good that she's not speaking. He can get a lot further in silence.

"I know you were hurting," Bellamy says, "I would've done- if you let me I could've-"

He scrubs a hand over his face and wipes away a few tears with his thumb. He has no idea what he would've done. The end was not a break-up. The end was a coping mechanism. Bellamy can't imagine it worked. He really never expected her to call.

"I was in love with you, Raven. I just wish-"

He hears a loud beep and glances at the screen.

 _Call has been disconnected._


End file.
